Capsicoul Crack
by PassionatelyHiddlestoned
Summary: That day when Steve went for a walk and Coulson was watching... *Fun crack celebrating Phil's fangirling over Cap*


Steve was out for a nice walk, as it was a beautiful day in New York City. Ever since he had moved into the Tower, life had gotten better, not having to deal with his surly landlord and dirty apartment that smelled like hot garbage.

It was nice to live with some luxury for a change.

He whistled happily to himself as he strolled along the sidewalk, when suddenly, a few leaves rustled and fell onto his head and down in front of him. He frowned, and looked up in confusion. Maybe it was another cat that he could help rescue!

But what he saw….was not a cat.

It was a Coulson.

When the man up in the tree saw that Steve had noticed him, he coughed a few times, and glanced around the sky, using his hands as binoculars. "Uh huh, no red swallows out and about today," he tutted, and started to climb down.

Steve was still frowning as he reached the bottom. "Um… forgive me for asking, Agent Coulson, but why exactly were you up in a tree?" Coulson giggled. "He remembered my name yeaaay! Uh, uhm, er, sorry…. I was scoping for a mission. Didn't Director Fury, um, tell you?" He touched his earpiece conspicuously as he straightened out his suit.

Steve shook his head slowly. "Did the mission really include red swallows?" "No…I mean…well… I like to… bird watch… especially for Eagles! Eh? Get it? Eh?" He nudged Steve, and quickly drew back. "I'm sorry I touched you oh my god oh my god I can't."

Steve just stared at the man, who was biting his lip in excitement and restraint at the same time. "Oh. Okay then… I'll see you later." Coulson just nodded, practically drooling, and Steve backed away slowly, turning around and continuing his walk.

Later that day, Steve had decided to stop for a milkshake. He stopped at the usual place he went to, a retro diner, as it reminded him of his time, and went to the counter.

"Hey, Steve!" called the fry cook amiably, "Chocolate shake and a burger?" Steve smiled. "You got it!"

As Steve waited for his meal to pick up, he sat down at a nearby booth, the one he liked the best by the window.

But then, out of the corner of his eye, he swore he saw a flash of brown hair appear. Steve turned around quickly. "Clint? Is that you? Bruce?" He shrugged, and went to get his milkshake, sitting back down afterward. He took a bite of his burger, and saw the flash again.

He looked up, just in time to see a head of brown hair duck behind the seat in front of him. Steve sighed. "Agent Coulson? You can come out."

There was a long pause, but finally, the agent emerged from the booth, acting as if it were the most surprising thing in the world to see Steve there.

"Captain Rogers! Fancy seeing you here! Wow, what an utter, spontaneous coincidence! I had no idea you would be here! At all!" Steve nodded slowly, and went back to his burger with a raising of his eyebrows.

After a few minutes, Steve looked up, to find Coulson still standing there, staring at him. "Um…would you like to sit down and join me, Age-" "AHHH!" Coulson screamed, "He asked me to sit with him ooooh my god," Coulson chanted to himself, and he began to hyperventilate, before clearing his throat and looking back to Steve. "I can't, I'm sorry. I'm on the job."

Steve nodded. "Oh. Okay. Well, see you later, then." Coulson nodded, and went back to his viewpoint in the booth in front of the soldier. Steve sighed again.

When it was late afternoon, Steve decided to go back to the tower, and get a shower. It was a hot day, and he had worked out before, so he really wanted to get cleaned off.

"Hey Cap!" Tony called from his stance at the bar area, "How was the day?" "It was…interesting." Tony frowned, and Steve grabbed a towel.

He went into one of the many pristine bathrooms, and opened the door to the translucent glass shower.

As he started the shower, he revelled in the hot water pouring over his skin, and he closed his eyes for a moment.

Then, he heard it.

A faint giggle.

His eyes flew open, and he looked around the already steamy bathroom. I must have imagined it, he thought.

Another smothered giggle.

Steve promptly shut off the shower, and wrapped a towel around his lower half as he got out.

"Who's in here?" he called. He looked around, squinting through the steam, and crossed his arms. "Hey! Show yourself!"

Suddenly, Coulson emerged from behind the toilet sheepishly. Steve opened his mouth. "Did Director Fury send you on a mission to my bathroom, Agent?" Coulson looked away. "I… I… sorry, It's just… mmmff!" he squeaked.

Steve frowned, and opened the door, pointing to Coulson. "Go get those cards." "What-?" "I'm signing those damn cards right now so I don't have you following me and watching me all the time."

Coulson nodded excitedly, and dashed out to grab the vintage trading cards. He came running back with a blue marker, and Steve signed them, handing them back. Coulson stared, wide-eyed, at the cards in hand.

After a second, Steve looked at him.

"You okay, Coulson?" he asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. Coulson inhaled sharply, and pretended to be getting a transmission over his earpiece. "I…gotta…go…now…" he managed out, and ran, flailing out the door, singing "I love my liiiife!"

Steve shook his head, and laughed a little, then realized the Avengers had accumulated around him to look at his half-naked self.

He blushed, and ran back to the shower, all the while realizing that Coulson had left his phone by the sink, no doubt full of pictures of him in here.

And, of course, the case was red, white and blue, with Steve's shiny shield on it.


End file.
